How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love more than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!
Song of Songs 4:10
I have quite a few friends that will love to be in a relationship. They would love to have that one person that they can be with and not have to worry about being a lone. I tell all single women "you are single right now for a reason, enjoy your time alone." This is a statement most single women would not want to hear, especially coming from a woman who is married or in a strong relationship. I have to admit I didn't want to hear this either, but now that I'm married with 2 kids I completely understand why that is said.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and children. They are God sent. I believe that my husband was specifically picked for me and my children mean the world to me. I would do anything for them. But there are times where I wished I didn't have to care so much about so many people. The spontaneous side of me has completely left. I cannot do anything last minute because I need to find a sitter or make sure my husband is not busy that same night. I can’t' just travel the world for lengths of time because I have a family to come home to. I also can't just spend all my money on me because I have children that need to eat, needs clothes and other items. Oh just to have that taste of freedom one more time. But every morning before I get ready for work, I look at my 3 month old, and all the wants of me, me, me, me just disappears. As I look at my husband I realize how lucky I am to not wonder how he feels about me or are we in a relationship yet. If the ring on my finger does not give me that information than I don't know what will. As I watch my 12 year-old get ready to catch the school bus, I realize how much I enjoy him growing up right before my eyes. I can see right in front of me the stages of his development from a child to an adolescent to a teen, to an adult. The thoughts of the single life quickly disappear.
Those thoughts disappear so quickly because I have been there and done that and now I can “delight myself in the love” of my family. While I was single I really enjoyed my time. I enjoyed figuring out what makes me happy and what I don't like. I enjoyed traveling to places that I would never pick to go on my own. I enjoyed dating whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I even enjoyed not dating. I enjoyed the sense of self that I felt when I walked into my own apartment. And because I was lucky enough to really enjoy this time, I can really enjoy my marriage and kids. Can you really look at your life and say wow, I have done all that I am going to do as a single person? I can, the only thing to enjoy now is a husband, and kids. Sometimes we as women may dream of being a mother and wife, and watching our friends and family achieve the things that we want the most can be so heart breaking. However, know that because you are seeing it right before your eyes it is close for you. Remember don't forget to enjoy the life you have now as you wait for the life you dreamed of. Just because it is not your dream life doesn't mean it can't be a good life. Don't work to hard to achieve the relationship of your dreams, where you forget to enjoy the relationships along the way. Those relationships are teaching you and helping you for that long lasting relationship.
Thank you,
F.P.E.
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