To Be or Not To Be: A Social Butterfly

It’s been 3 months since my child was born and I am just itching to go out and have a good time. Prior to being pregnant I didn’t go out much but I had the luxury to go out when ever time and finances allowed. It was always fun to just hang out with the girls or even my husband and just relax. Entertainment is something we all need in order to get away from the problems, issues, or concerns of our day to day routines. So now that I’m 3 months post partum I’m ready to go out and all I hear is you have a two month old (now 3 months). Why is being a social butterfly so controversial for parents?

Once you decide to have a child you are told your life changes and the “you as you know it is no more and your life now should be focused on your child. But is that really the case? Does anyone else long for the “you” that you use to know? It may just be a case of wanting your life back and things being back to “normal” but whatever it is, it is gnawing at you and making you an unhappy mom and/or wife. Is it really bad to want to go out with friends once a month or maybe even once a week? Am I really doing my child an injustice by leaving her at the sitter while I get some well needed entertainment outside of my household? And am I being a bad parent or am I being a good parent by allowing myself to blow off some steam so I can give my child the love he/she needs.

I currently struggle with this item as we speak. I sometimes feel sad that I allow myself to as if I am the primary parent and therefore feel reluctant to enjoy life outside of my family. My family should give me enough fun, and entertainment that I need. Why do I need to look elsewhere? In some way I feel as if I’m hurting my stepson, newborn, and husband by enjoying life without them. However, I so miss going out with my friends, and being free to up and go as I please. Now don’t get me wrong, my husband is all for me to go out and he’ll watch the kids, but I would feel like it’s all my fault if something should happened and I was out partying.

I personally do not feel there is nothing wrong with going out and enjoying life even if it is once a week. A few of my friends are single parents (my husband was prior to our marriage) and I realized that going out wasn’t a way for them to get out of being a parent, but it allowed them to do something else for a moment so they can be reenergized for their children for the next month, or next week. If we surround ourselves with our kid’s life we can create a loneliness and emptiness in our lives that can lead to many different directions as our young ones get older. We may end up trying to live life through our kids, we may wake up one day and realize how empty our life is because we focused so much on our child that it can in some way lead to depression. As long as your child is being taken care of by a well trusted person then do what you have to do to keep your sanity so you can be All Women to your family.